Why I Hate Using Macs

A couple weeks ago, I received a new macbook pro as my desktop replacement at work. It's pretty much as powerful as my former desktop and it's a laptop so I figured that having a computer I can use anywhere at work would be pretty useful. I was thinking about waiting for the new windows laptop (which hasn't been determined yet, but most likely would be a thinkpad) since I have a thinkpad at home and love it to bits. But, in the interest of getting a laptop earlier I decided I would just try it out.

Now, I've been a pretty openly negative person when it comes to Apple products. Prior to owning an Apple product, I was mostly just against Apple as a principle. It's not particularly that I think Apple products are especially terrible, although I'm not really a big fan of their stuff, it's that the indie part of me cringes at the idea of playing into the "cool factor" that all of their advertising suggests. I wouldn't go as far as, say, Maddox does, but I was definitely against the whole idea that you become part of this great "Mac Community". Own a mac because we're fighting against the man (remember 1984?).

But that's not my point today. Putting the whole "cool factor" aside and the fact that I feel like I'm not artistic enough for my new macbook, today I'm only going to write about the reasons why I don't like using my macbook and not why I don't like macs as a general principle.

I have always been a firm believer that you can't be against something that you've never tried to understand. Part of the reason why I decided that I would get a macbook for work was that I could try it out for a while and at least say that I've tried it and I was right for hating it. In the last couple of days, I've been quite vocal about my anger toward my new macbook and I thought I'd go into a little more depth...

Reason #1: Installing software is an almost patronizing process
In the Windows world, you download the executable (exe), run it, and follow their generally 10 step process as it goes through where you want to save your application, what you want installed with it, and (hopefully) whether or not you want to have it put shortcuts everywhere. Not the greatest solution in the world, but pretty customizable and in general pretty straightforward. It's a little cold and metallic feeling, but it gets the job done and the many steps I'm okay with because that's an opportunity to have the app installed exactly how I want it. More importantly, all the steps are in roughly the same spot so if I want a quick install without thinking, I can just keep pressing next in about the same spot.
In the Mac world, you download the disc image (dmg), run it, and go through their "easy install" window. This has the potential to be much better than a Windows installer, and in some cases it is much easier. Almost... too easy. While installing Adium, which is actually pretty good and has an incredibly cute mascot of sorts, I came across this install window:

Image from kevin.roberts' flickr

This is actually the first application I had installed on my macbook and, although it's incredibly cute, my first thought was that they must think I'm some sort of idiot. Upon installing a number of other applications it occurred to me that this wasn't an Adium thing, this was a mac thing. Why, if you can only put it in one folder, even show this screen? If I don't have a choice in the matter, why not just do it for me rather than make me drag something into a folder just to install it? I half expect a voice to say (in that condescending voice you use for kids), "Come on! You can do it! Just drag that little icon to that other icon that looks like a folder with the word applications on it!" The confusing thing is even after you've dragged the app to the applications folder, the window is still there, begging you to do more even though you really can't. Then, once you close that, you need to take that dmg "disc" and eject it by dragging it from the desktop to the trash. I don't quite understand why that is still around once I've finished my whole dragging install. Maybe it's to add to that feeling of accomplishment.

Reason #2: Turning off the startup sound is not an installed setting
I am not a fan of my computer making noise when I'm in public. I especially don't like it when other people's computers make noise when I'm in public. There's nothing more annoying than being at work and hearing everyone's outlook or communicator or iphone beeping every time they get a message or have a meeting reminder. I am a strong supporter of headphones. You can imagine my surprise when, with the headphones plugged in, my mac started up with its standard bong/chime startup sound from its speakers and not my headphones. Immediately I start trying to search around the settings to see how to turn that sound off to no avail. My dear friend Google then lets me know that it's not a defect, you just can't make that sound go away without some annoying key presses or some 3rd party tool. That way, I can announce to everyone in the room that I have a macbook. I've been told a number of times that I should just not turn off my macbook because "it doesn't need it". Even if that were true, that is a poor solution to a really annoying problem.

Reason #3: Using the laptop is actually kind of painful
I love my thinkpad. The thing is practically indestructible, the edge where my wrists are is actually curved plastic, and it never gets that hot (usually the most it gets is warm).
The macbook, on the other hand, is surrounded in aluminum. Even the sound of my nails accidentally scratching against any part of its surface is like scratching a chalkboard. All the edges are extremely sharp to the point where some people have taken measures to make their macbooks stop trying to kill them. And, because of its metal casing, when it heats up, it pretty much could burn your skin if you tried to keep it on your lap. Luckily, I use a bluetooth mouse and keyboard at work so I only have to worry about getting physically abused by my mac when I take it home.


To be fair, there are some nice features to this mac. The spaces feature is pretty slick for keeping things from getting overly cluttered. I do enjoy having 2 different backgrounds that show separate instances of the screensaver I have when using a 2nd monitor. But when push comes to shove and I need to get another personal laptop in a couple of years, chances are it'll be another thinkpad.

Why Digital Speedometers Are Evil

My brother has a Honda Civic Coupe, and I absolutely hate driving his car. I don't normally end up driving it, but every time I do it drives me crazy. The civic has a digital speedometer that's raised above the dashboard so you can constantly see it. Here's a view of what it looks like (image from Ben Golub's flickr):

There are a couple of annoyances I have with this speedometer. First, I don't like having my speed in my direct line of sight. That's not to say I don't check my speed frequently, but I don't want to be forced to check my speed frequently. If I'm sitting through bumper to bumper traffic, I really don't care (or want to know for that matter) how fast I'm going.

Second, I don't want to know my exact speed 99% of the time. Maybe if I were to get pulled over by a policeman for speeding, I would want to know exactly how fast I was going when it happened. Although, even in that instance I'm not sure I'd really want to know. There's something somewhat unsettling for me knowing that I'm driving 43 mph or 52 mph or 31 mph. I find myself really wanting to drive on round numbers (like 45 mph or 50 mph or 30 mph). Perhaps that's my slightly unjustifiable OCD, but really, it's just unnecessary.

Third, and the most important, I don't like how visually distracting it is to see the digital speedometer change numbers. To illustrate this, I've created some little animations for your viewing pleasure of a fairly common speed change on the freeway.

On a digital speedometer, the difference between 3 different speeds (such as 69, 70, and 71) is rather drastic.

On an analog speedometer, however, the difference is only a few degrees different between the same 3 speeds at the exact same intervals.

I guess you could argue that the digital speedometer looks more modern, but I'll take the analog speedometer any day.

Why Toilet Paper Should Always Be Rolled Over

At my office, toilet paper is dispensed in pretty standard public bathroom containers. It's a long, rectangular, metal block that has space for toilet seat covers, 2 rolls of toilet paper, and feminine products. It looks something like this MS Paint rendition I've drawn for your understanding pleasure. I'm assuming, due to the feminine trash can on the right side, that men's dispensers don't quite look like this. I'm not particularly sure what you'd end up throwing away in there, anyway. I don't think I'd want to know.

Anyhow, in our bathroom, there are 2 rolls per dispenser, both of which are accessible. More than 50% of the time, both rolls are rolled under instead of over (which is unfortunate considering that Kleenex Cottonelle's roll poll shows a 72% to 28% preference of rolling over instead of under). Realistically, it's more than just a matter of the rolls being better looking when rolled over (which they are). Functionally, it's easier by a significant degree to unroll toilet paper when the roll is rolled over instead of under.

You might be thinking, rolling under or rolling over is the same amount of effort. You would be wrong. This toilet paper dispenser is an extreme example of this use case, but the same problem arises in any scenario, just to a lesser degree.

If you consider the side of a toilet paper roll to be like a clock, where rolling under is counter clockwise and rolling over is clockwise, there are certain "times" that correspond to different physical results in the way the paper falls.

If the paper is rolled under, at a little past 12:00, the toilet paper starts to drop down and the entirety of paper exposed drops to the bottom of the roll. At any point past 6:00, the toilet paper is flat to the surface of the roll. This is especially problematic in the office dispenser because at any point past 6:00, the edge of the paper is actually behind the roll itself and is unattainable without rolling the roll a full 180 degrees. Also, because you can only tear the paper at points between 12:00 and 6:00, you're left with the remaining roll either hanging off the bottom or stuck under the roll. It's worth pointing out, too, that rolling when rolled under scrapes the toilet paper against the edge of the holder, which tears the paper. A minor issue, but a pain all the same.

If the paper is rolled over, at any point between 12:00 and 6:00, the toilet paper is flat to the surface of the roll (for the most part). This is awesome, because you can only tear at points between 12:00 and 6:00. This means that even if someone were to roll the paper counter clockwise (because they hate you for some reason), gravity would kick in and the edge of the roll would drop down behind the holder. At most, you'd need to roll 90 degrees before the edge is accessible again. On top of all that, the paper never scrapes against the edge of the holder because the point of rolling is at the top rather than the bottom. All in all, everyone wins.

I've probably put way too much thought into this, but really, what else are you going to do when you're sitting on the toilet?

Why There Are Eggs in the Background

I probably spent about 30 minutes sifting through the different background images Blogger had to offer for the "perfect" representation of what some may consider my crazy. There's no real category for explaining my need for order and efficiency. I'm not even really sure how it was that I came about this random picture of a set of eggs, but the moment I saw that one lone white egg, I knew this was the one.

One white egg among a sea of brown eggs. Some might say that this is a representation of being unique, of how great it is to stand out among so many other homogeneous entities. The reality of it, though, is that there is one white egg in a brown egg carton because someone out there sucked major at sorting eggs. So really, this isn't a picture glorifying how great it is to be unique; it's a picture of failure.

And this is only the beginning...