Thursday, June 24, 2010

Why Toilet Paper Should Always Be Rolled Over

At my office, toilet paper is dispensed in pretty standard public bathroom containers. It's a long, rectangular, metal block that has space for toilet seat covers, 2 rolls of toilet paper, and feminine products. It looks something like this MS Paint rendition I've drawn for your understanding pleasure. I'm assuming, due to the feminine trash can on the right side, that men's dispensers don't quite look like this. I'm not particularly sure what you'd end up throwing away in there, anyway. I don't think I'd want to know.

Anyhow, in our bathroom, there are 2 rolls per dispenser, both of which are accessible. More than 50% of the time, both rolls are rolled under instead of over (which is unfortunate considering that Kleenex Cottonelle's roll poll shows a 72% to 28% preference of rolling over instead of under). Realistically, it's more than just a matter of the rolls being better looking when rolled over (which they are). Functionally, it's easier by a significant degree to unroll toilet paper when the roll is rolled over instead of under.

You might be thinking, rolling under or rolling over is the same amount of effort. You would be wrong. This toilet paper dispenser is an extreme example of this use case, but the same problem arises in any scenario, just to a lesser degree.

If you consider the side of a toilet paper roll to be like a clock, where rolling under is counter clockwise and rolling over is clockwise, there are certain "times" that correspond to different physical results in the way the paper falls.

If the paper is rolled under, at a little past 12:00, the toilet paper starts to drop down and the entirety of paper exposed drops to the bottom of the roll. At any point past 6:00, the toilet paper is flat to the surface of the roll. This is especially problematic in the office dispenser because at any point past 6:00, the edge of the paper is actually behind the roll itself and is unattainable without rolling the roll a full 180 degrees. Also, because you can only tear the paper at points between 12:00 and 6:00, you're left with the remaining roll either hanging off the bottom or stuck under the roll. It's worth pointing out, too, that rolling when rolled under scrapes the toilet paper against the edge of the holder, which tears the paper. A minor issue, but a pain all the same.

If the paper is rolled over, at any point between 12:00 and 6:00, the toilet paper is flat to the surface of the roll (for the most part). This is awesome, because you can only tear at points between 12:00 and 6:00. This means that even if someone were to roll the paper counter clockwise (because they hate you for some reason), gravity would kick in and the edge of the roll would drop down behind the holder. At most, you'd need to roll 90 degrees before the edge is accessible again. On top of all that, the paper never scrapes against the edge of the holder because the point of rolling is at the top rather than the bottom. All in all, everyone wins.

I've probably put way too much thought into this, but really, what else are you going to do when you're sitting on the toilet?

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Why There Are Eggs in the Background

I probably spent about 30 minutes sifting through the different background images Blogger had to offer for the "perfect" representation of what some may consider my crazy. There's no real category for explaining my need for order and efficiency. I'm not even really sure how it was that I came about this random picture of a set of eggs, but the moment I saw that one lone white egg, I knew this was the one.

One white egg among a sea of brown eggs. Some might say that this is a representation of being unique, of how great it is to stand out among so many other homogeneous entities. The reality of it, though, is that there is one white egg in a brown egg carton because someone out there sucked major at sorting eggs. So really, this isn't a picture glorifying how great it is to be unique; it's a picture of failure.

And this is only the beginning...